bedtime exercise for daily awareness by ken wilson
Throughout the history of the church, believers have practiced something called traditionally “Examination of Conscience.”
Step 10 of the Twelve Steps made famous by Alcoholics Anonymous says, [we] “Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.” The biblical roots of this practice can be traced to Psalm 4, which is a bed-time psalm. It includes these lines:
“In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. Offer right sacrifices and trust in the Lord….I will lie down in peace, for you alone, O Lord make me dwell in safety.” Psalm 4: 4,8
St. Paul picks quotes this psalm in his letter to the Ephesians:
“’In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil a foothold.” (Eph. 4: 26)
What follows is tool I picked up from a Jesuit priest, the gist of which goes like this.
Before retiring at night, consider a practice called “Bedtime Exercise for Daily Awareness.” This can be incorporated into some regular night prayers, such as the Compline prayers in The Divine Hours, by Phyllis Tickle, or simply as part of one’s own prayers before sleep.
1. Invite the Holy Spirit to shine in your heart as you review the events of the day.
This is not a mere formality, but the real deal. Invite him and he’ll be there. Or perhaps you’ll sense his presence more than if you didn’t invite him. If you like, take a deep breath, or a moment to be still.
Remember, the Holy Spirit is present as a counselor and as an advocate. To shine God’s light, and also to protect you from accusation or condemnation that comes from your own sin-sick-but- recovering soul, or from the powers that are opposed to God.
2. Walk through the day in your mind, event by event.
Start with the beginning of the day and recall events as they unfolded through the day. Or go from the present backwards, whatever floats your boat.
First, look for the blessings of the day, the gifts from God and savor them through thanksgiving. We usually go through our days in such a hurry, that we don’t stop to give thanks. As you practice this exercise, you’ll be amazed how God brings to mind the blessings of the day, and delight of giving him thanks for them. Savor these blessings as you ponder them.
Second, as your recall the days events, notice any that recall unpleasant feelings or emotions: anxiety, fear, anger, irritation, confusion, sadness, and so on. You can let yourself feel whatever that feeling is; it will pass. Pick one of these events, perhaps the most prominent one and bring it consciously before God in prayer. Talk to him about what happened, about how you felt and feel about it. Be honest and direct with him. As you talk it over with him, you may become aware of something in your own response to that event that troubles your conscience, or that you sense would displease God. If so, admit that to him and ask forgiveness. Don’t wallow in it, just bring it to him like a young child would bring it. Tell him you’re sorry, ask for his help, and move on. Consider whether it would be helpful to admit this wrong to someone else, especially the person who was affected directly. Decide how and when you will do that. Make a note to yourself, if need be. (If it’s someone in the house with you, take care of it right away, then get back to your prayers.)
Be sure not to put the focus on only the wrongs—make your primary focus thanksgiving for the blessings; this will give you the courage and freedom to face any wrongs that come to your attention from the day. Be careful, too, not to “overthink” any issue. Bring it directly to God—talk to him about it, rather than stewing over it by yourself.
Once you’ve said what you need to say to God, move on.
3. Finish your review of the events of the day, focusing on thanksgiving.
Once you’ve dealt with any unpleasant events of the day in God’s presence, return to your walk through the days events, focusing on thanksgiving for any gifts, small or large that came to you through the day. Don’t forget the simple things—daily bread in all it’s forms.
4. Close with a prayer.
This might be a spontaneous prayer from the heart, or the Lord’s Prayer, or finishing off the Night Prayers if you are using the Compline in The Divine Hours. All from the heart, when possible.
The Lords Prayer
Our father in heaven,
Holy is your name.
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our sins,
as we forgive those who sin against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For Yours is the kingdom,
the power and the glory forever. Amen
Or The Gloria:
Glory be to the father,
and to the son,
and to the Holy Spirit!
As it was in the beginning,
is now and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen!
Note: You can think of this exercise as a way of putting into practice, this text:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—let your mind dwell on these things….And the God of peace will be with you” (Phillipians 4: 6-9)
Remember, like all spiritual disciplines, this one takes time to implement. Often we put things like this into practice in “fits and starts.” The more you do it, the easier it becomes, and the more fruitful. At first, as you get used to it, it may feel like you’re going through the motions. But as the form recedes to the background
(through repeated use) the content flows more naturally.