12 steps series step 5: admit it! by ken wilson

5th in 12 part series on spiritual awakening effected by the 12 Steps: “Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs” Doesn’t cause our hearts to leap w/ joy.

Water cooler: Have you had a chance to do your fifth step yet? Wow, what an experience!”

Think of someone you care about: parent, spouse, child, dear friend. Good qualities, yet heart is aching over fatal flaw, Achilles heel. Addiction? Character weakness? Worry.. Averse to conflict…Self-absorbed, dishonest…struggling to receive love, expressing affection, hard on herself and those closest to her.

If only he could see what you see, but no! a real blind spot. Glass wall keeps you remote…

Now imagine something wonderful begins to happen in your loved one’s life. Unexpected softening, ego deflation at depth...
A ray of hope: maybe God could help! Makes a sincere surrender….

Then something that sounds almost too good to be true: taking a long hard look at himself. A month later, your loved on has come clean-- with God, himself, another human being. Your response? joy.

Now you know how God feels when we take these steps…“I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents…” (Lk. 15: 7)

“Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”

“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 Jn. 1:8-9)

One of most frightening realities of human heart: our capacity to deceive ourselves.

You get your hand caught in the cookie jar. “My hand was not, in fact, in cookie jar. Near cookie jar, passing over, swatting a fly out…”

At first, deceiving other. In sense, truth is still in you, even though not telling it. Then something very dangerous happens: you begin to believe your own story. Deceiving, blinding yourself.

Frightening, because our only link to reality is truth. When we deceive ourselves, the truth is not in us, we’ve separated ourselves from what’s real. Because he is the real God, when we lose our link to reality, we’ve lost our link to God. No longer in light, where life is. In darkness, where life isn’t.

“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves, the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins…” Sounds like painful humiliation. Sipowicz [sweaty, overbearing, malodorous] until you crack: I did it!

Not what word means at all. Confess Gk. homologeo homo, the same; lego, to say. Homologeo: to say the same thing as. [red ball]

Here, the language of the 5th step, provides a helpful clarification:
To admit “the exact nature of our wrongs.” I could say this red ball is “something.” True. But not exact. A “round object,” better.
But to the same thing as means everything I know: “a red plastic ball”

This kind of simple, honest, say-the-same-thing-as confession is a beautiful thing: [Sam; Jonah; shower; cookie…like Jonah running from God]

“Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs” Clarifies who we do our confessing to: to God, ourselves, and to another human being. Genius: trifecta.

Go back to your friend: what gives you most hope for real change?

a. to God
b. to ourselves
c. to another human being
d. all of the above.

Why all 3? Because all three are with us in the light! 1 John 1: 5-7
“If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another.” Love of God is a place we’re let into (shelter from storm). Who is in that place of light? We are; he is; one another

Tendency as moderns to compartmentalize. Relationship w/ God (me & Jesus); relationship with others (me & you.) But neat compartments only separate what God has joined together. “We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and the Son” (1 Jn. 1:3) The Holy Trinity is the Love Zone!

No doubt, in context, “if we confess our sins” has the trifecta of Step 5 in mind: to God, to ourselves, to another human being.

James 5: 13-16a Form of confession with the most healing power.

A word to the compulsive: does not mean that confessing to God alone is inadequate. “I’ve not really confessed unless I tell someone” This kind of nervous, neurotic compulsive approach to sin gives religion a bad name!

Twelve steps context: what to do with your searching and fearless moral inventory. Getting a monkey off your back.

If you’ve never done it before….new to faith, perhaps
….bothered by things that went down in the past.
….coming to grips with fatal flaw, kind of issue reluctant to face “We’re only as sick as our secrets”

Choose “another human being” carefully! Holy business, not Jerrry Springer. Someone who can handle it. Trust. Keep a confidence.
12-Step sponsor, pastor, small group leader, pursuing wholenss facilitator. Mature, well grounded.

This is also about the nature of our relationships. Are there people in your life you can share your struggles with? Offload your secrets? The give and take of full disclosure?

Wholeness is all about being known—by God, by yourself, and other human beings.
Implications for the culture of the church, community of Jesus.
A safe place, selectively, for full disclosure.

Conclusion

The gospel goes beyond 12 Steps at this very point because the gospel offers a solution to shame & guilt:

A solution rooted in reality: in history, an event in space & time—when God satisfied the demands of justice [someone has to pay!] & the cry for mercy on the cross.

“he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins… and purify us from all unrighteousness”

Profound psychology at work here.

Forgiveness has to do with the removal of penalties.
Not holding this against you any longer.

Cleansing as to do with washing out the stain left behind….the slime-effect of guilt on the human spirit.

celebration times

church address

12 steps series step 5: admit it! by ken wilson