God, the Jilted Lover: Lessons in Love from Hosea the Prophet : Broken Relationships in Prophetic Perspective
by Ken Wilson

Series featuring writings of Hebrew Prophet Hosea. Prophet to the northern tribes of Israel at a time when the people of God were mixing worship of God with the local deities, primarily Ashur, the fertility-warrior god of Assyria. Israel was a mess: one king after the other deposed by treachery, making alliances with powers & principalities of Assyria one day, Egypt the next.

Typical of the Hebrew prophets: They always seem to rise up and speak in their prophetic voice when things are royal mess in Israel.

Writings of prophets unlike State of the Union Address which always begins, "The State of our Union is Strong." The prophets weren't averse to saying, "Our Union is in state of Free Fall" The wrap on the prophets was always their "negativity." Michah refers to this: "Do not preach"--thus they preach--"one should not preach of such things; disgrace will not overtake us" (Micah 2)

But Hosea is unique among prophets because his prophetic voice is honed on the anvil of his own family distress. Gomer his wife, the mother of his children, has left him for other lovers. Hosea is given the grace not to run & hide from pain of betrayal or seek comfort in things that would only deaden his soul. He's given wisdom to move into and then through the pain to a deeper understanding of God.

From that understanding he speaks in voice of God, the Jilted Lover: At one time angry, railing against his people who have left him for other lovers, the next longing for reconciliation, foreseeing a day when all shall be well again, just like Jilted Lovers do.

So now we have these writings. And we're reading them. Which means we're interacting with them. The chemistry of the writings interacting with the chemistry of our lives. So the words are living, not dead-static-inert. Inspired writings require readers willing to bring their messy lives to the text.

What's going on with us that pertains to these writings? Our broken relationships.

Broken relationships are a fact of life. Try as we might, we all suffer the pain of broken relationships. According to the biblical narrative, broken relationships are the central fact of the human condition. For all our talk of this as the book of "family values" you'd think there would be at least some families in the book who had it together. But they are not to be found.

In the OT, all the families are messed up. Adam & Eve set the pace. Their son Cain kills his brother Abel. Noah's family, Abraham and Sara, it's a soap opera. Jabob & Esau, Joseph and his brothers--an episode of Jerry Springer show.

Surely it's better in the NT you say? Jesus has a falling out with his mother and brothers in the early chapters of Mark. Paul & Mark have a falling out in Acts. Peter & Paul have a falling out in Galatians. The women leaders Euodia & Syntche are admonished to get along. Paul has to say to one of the churches: "If you don't stop biting each other, you may devour one another and there won't be a church left!"

In light of this data, I think we should feel free to openly admit that we too suffer from broken relationships. As much as we'd like to pretend our life is an episode of the Brady Bunch or the Cosby Show we have broken relationships.

I got 'em. You got 'em. We all got 'em: broken relationships.

What does God offer us in the face of this brokenness?
Counsel in the form of Wisdom (as in the proverbs).
Commands in the form of Law (as in 10 commands)

But there has to be more. The Law is good, but inadequate. Why? because it's not like the law of gravity or 2nd law of thermodynamics. We can break these laws and we do with regularity.

"George" story…. [meet with him in midst of his affair; realizes he's flushing his marriage, doesn't care; want to throttle him, instead, reach out and touch his foot, bust out crying, can't stop; George looks on, stunned…X10 min; apologize, then go get a cup of tea, return to a changed George.]

What moved George was not counsel or command, but empathy. Not empathy toward his wife, who deserved it more than anyone. Empathy toward God. He realized his actions were hurting God. That God could be hurt.

Hosea was gripped with prophetic empathy toward God. In the early chapters, he speaks in the voice of God, the Jilted Lover. In chapter twelve, it's God, the Love-Sick Parent.

"When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son. But the more I called Israel, the further they went from me. They sacrificed to the Baals and they burned incense to images. It was I who taught Ephraim to walk, taking them by the arms; but they did not realize it was I who healed them. I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love; I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them. (11:1-4)

Hosea has been through a painful separation from his wife Gomer. He's lived in anguish of Jilted Lover. We don't know what impact that's had on his connection with his children but it's often a strain. Their lives have been disrupted; often stirs anger toward both parents. We don't know his story. Only know there was one.

And we know that Hosea's anguish has become a doorway into God's heart. He's speaking now from God's strained and broken heart.

And it's a very tender heart. The gender isn't specific, but the images lean in the direction of the maternal. A parent with a small child being held, learning to walk, being fed.
(A parent calling after a young child, but spurned by child.)

This line is extraordinary: "I led them with cords of human kindness." God speaking. Not "I led them with cords of divine kindness" but "I led them with cords of human kindness."

As though there is no kindness like human kindness. As though God has a high view of what it means to be human, in spite of all the ways we've sullied the human brand.

As though God works through human kindness. So when we're touched by human kindness, we're touched by God. When we wrap another human being in the cords of human kindness, we're wrapping them in the arms of God's love.
(Powerful thing, so simple; why don't we do it more often?)

"Will they not return to Egypt and will not Assyria rule over them because they refuse to repent? Swords will flash in their cities, will destroy the bars of their gates and put an end to their plans. My people are determined to turn from me. Even if they call to the Most High, he will by no means exalt them. (11: 5-7)

Here's the anguish of God: There comes a time when a parent sees that look in his child's eye. This kid is bound and determined to play out his hand and its end won't be good.

That's when, as a parent, you want to make like Pontius Pilate and wash your hands of this kid. Turn your back on this kid, at least close your heart to this kid to protect yourself from the havoc he's causing.

It's easy to let go in anger: To thrust loved one out of your heart. Hardest thing for any parent: let go of adult child in love, not anger. Let go of him--let him live the life of his or her own choosing--while maintaining love for the beloved.

God struggles with this. Hosea's words reflect the struggle.

"How can I give you up, Ephraim? How can I hand you over, Israel? How can I treat you like Admah? How can I make you like Zeboiim? My heart is changed within me; all my compassion is aroused. I will not carry out my fierce anger, nor will I turn and devastate Ephraim. For I am God, and not man—the Holy One among you. I will not come in wrath." (11: 8-9)

Since Hosea brought it up, let's talk about God's wrath. In other places Hosea gives vent to God's wrath. Understandably, we cringe at expressions of God's anger in prophets. Over the top. We've had enough of angry people we don't need an angry God, thank you.

But we misunderstand these prophetic expressions of God's anger.
First, we personalize them. We take words spoken to nations and apply them to ourselves as individuals. And lose all sense of proportion. [When speaking to a crowd, speak "large"]
The prophets are speaking to Israel or the nations.

Second, God's anger is an expression of his involvement. He cares. What we do affects him. God is capable of being moved, changed. And he is moved, changed by us.

"My heart is changed within me; all my compassion is aroused."

God's capacity for anger is an expression of his capacity to be moved by us. A god incapable of anger is a god incapable of love.

God's involved heart is like our involved heart. There's anger with the beloved in dynamic tension with compassion & mercy. And here, Hosea says, the compassion triumphs over the anger.

And Hosea declares that God is never more God than when his compassion overcomes his anger. "For I am God and not man! I will not carry out my fierce anger! Unlike some people I know!"

This struggle within God's own heart is framed in a language we can understand: the ties that bind us to each other. "How can I give you up, Ephraim! Even if I wanted to, I couldn't!"

As if God is saying, "Do you know what it means to have a child and know the child to be yours?" [Sharing experiences on mystical continuum: Dan's experience looking at his daughter waving from the car ahead]

Now comes the words of hope:

They will follow the LORD; he will roar like a lion. When he roars, his children will come trembling from the west. They will come trembling like birds from Egypt, like doves from Assyria. I will settle them in their homes," declares the LORD. (11:10-11)

This is a brilliant and unexpected image. Think of the roaring of a lion from a bird's perspective. Birds easily startled. A lion's roar will do it. But birds will circle back toward the roaring lion--there may be a carcass nearby and food. Birds know they are not prey for the lion. So they're safe. So they come. In trembling, in awe, but they come.

If we could only know what Hosea knows, if we could only understand what Hosea understands of God, we would come trembling too.

If we could only listen to our lives speaking to us. If we could feel our own craving for connection. John Lennon wrote this song, as raw a song as a song gets: "I want you. I want you so bad."

If we could listen to a song like that and understand it's reflecting something of God's heart for us.

A melting in our hearts toward God would occur. In the melting we would feel what Hosea felt: God will roar like a lion and we will come trembling like birds. And a home will be made for us with God.

The act of prophetic empathy--walking through the doorway of our own experience into God's heart so we understand God's heart from the inside--always leads to hope.
"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope." (2:14-15)
Achor in Hebrew means "trouble." Achor was a place of doom & gloom in Israel's history. A disaster place. Like "Katrina" or Twin Towers.

Hosea is bearing witness to his own experience. His own Valley of Achor, all that anguish in his life, as he walked through it, became a door or hope, because it led him into the heart of God.

Isn't that what we're looking for in this landscape littered with too many broken relationships? Hope.

Hope. The beginning of all repair.
Hope. The beginning of all healing.
Hope.